Kayze

I am DONE with school.

I am DONE with being white.

I am DONE with being taunted because of that.

Low-Down: I go to a multi-ethnic high school. I just started this year and so didn't every 2012 freshman. The only difference between myself and teh other 110 freshmen, I'm the only white girl. There's nothing wrong about being in a school that is mainly african american or hispanic, I mean, I'm not racist, I just feel different. I'm not used to being a minority. I don't mean to sound hateful, because I'm not. Ever since the first day these are the statistics I've come up with:

• I'm white, so obviously I'm racist
• I'm white, so obviously I cheat on every Spanish test
• I'm white, so obviously I wanted John McCain to be our president
• I'm white, so obviously I hate everyone in our class because they're black or hispanic

NONE OF THIS IS TRUE! I'm most certainly NOT racist, my parents raised me better. I do NOT cheat on Spanish tests. I have an A+ in that class for the first time since the seventh grade. So my success is obviously false because it's not. I wanted Obama to win, most def. I don't hate EVERYONE IN THE CLASS! ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT PISS ME OFF.

Two weeks ago: They push me into a locker, 'oh it doesn't hurt, get over it white girl'.

One week ago: They throw candy wrappers, lollipop sticks, paperballs, etc. at me during last period.

Yesterday: They hit me with notebooks DURING class. And it hurt like hell.

By 'they' I mean the seven to nineteen people in my class that choose to tease and hurt me continually. To be honest, I have no friends at this school. Just the two from my old school. Yesterday, after school when I was walking to the train station to go home after school, I was literally crying. And I didn't even know it until someone asked me ''what's wrong".  I just need to get out. I am sooo DONE.

Today on my way to school, I tripped up a set of cement stairs and landed on my nose. I had a mega bloody nose. I walked the rest of the way to school, holding my hand over my nose. Once I got to school, I cleaned up and called my dad to come get me.

Then I played Guitar Hero for like seven hours. I beat Misery Business on every level in vocals, then drums, then guitar. It's the only song I really knew on there, even though it drives me nuts.

Then I went outside and got the mail, and my report card came. I had gotten a D & C on my progress report in October, so I expected the same today. But no...I got four A's and two B's! I was so happy, and the class I was failing in, Algebra, was my second highest grade. I was so happy. I still am.

But...my nose still kills. I'm thinking of going to see a movie tonight with my brother, no school tomorrow!

Thank God for Veterans!

I spent about 7 hours on my computer today organizing my iTunes library when I could've been with my friends at a Xaverian/BC football game. Wow, I'm so anti-social. I walked around the mall today and found out that across from the food court, there's a Zumiez at our mall. A ZUMIEZ. I was kinda down when I saw that they didn't have GKCK stuff, but their shirts are pretty cool. I went to Hot Topic after to pick up the Twilight soundtrack, which is rad, and a copy of Substream, that they didn't have. I was at the register and I hear someone scream, and it's a teenie. Screaming about the Twilight stuff at the front of the store. The cashier and I just looked at each other and laughed. "ZOMG I LOVE EDWARD!", "Ew, I hate Jacob, I don't want a Team Jacob shirt!" and "I want this hoodie, this poster and the soundtrack, oh and the tote!" they were screaming. I was like "good luck" to the guy then I left.

I'm a Twilight fan, but not a "I'M SO F****** EXCITED I COULD DIE" fan everytime a piece of merch comes out. I'm Team Jacob. & Let all the TJers of Buzznet unite over leech-lovers. I mean, who wouldn't love a guy that runs around the woods naked all the time? Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen is coming to my town on Friday, I'm gonna go meet him with my friend, kinda stoked. I just think that W.Beckett could make a MUCH better Edward than Rob. He did such a good job in the Sixteen Candles video.

My friend Rachel, my betestsestytegdsfghui friend, was supposed to go the ATL show with me the night before Thanksgiving, but she BAILED ON ME. She's gonna be in NY, which pisses me off. No one in my school likes All Time Low, Mayday Parade, the Maine or Every Avenue, but me, so I'm f***ed.

Ta-Ta For Now,

kayze.<3

PS- I got the Substream issue at FYE. [PAT,JOHN,JARED,GARRETT & KENNY ARE SUPER HOTTIES IN IT!]

I take no credit whatsoever.

We Cease To Exist

by: Minh-Y :]

when you leave me here waiting
you always leave me hangin on
i can't believe this is taking you so long
to figure out the meaning
the meaning of me and you.

[refrain]
sit back, relax let me tell you how it goes
it won't take long, i just need you to know
that i can't stand this any longer.
i've been waiting forever and you never really came
back down from the clouds where your dreams lay
but we have our lives, and tomorrow
you'll wake up with reality on your side.

if it takes a thousand years
i won't be here
i need your answer now, cause you don't know how
thin the string that i'm hanging from is
don't take your time
make it fast, don't take it slow
i'll show you how it goes.

[refrain]

forever you and i
never really seemed to exist
it's been two years since i've met you
and you don't know what you're doing to me.
i'm on the edge
i'm on the brink, of falling down
and losing everythi ng

[refrain]

CHORUS:
these wings have already spread out
and they're waiting to fly
fly away, to some place where we won't have to worry about
all these fears
all this war
and our dreams will last longer, cause it'll be the reality

[refrain]

and i know, you should know by now.
when i'm gone, i'm not turning back,
looking back at all
so think fast.
don't take it easy
i'll be here, by your side
waiting, waiting for your answer.

---

The Jonas Brothers and MileyCyrus/DestinyHope/MileyRay/HannahMontana/WhoGivesaShit? are portrayed as 'rock stars/bands'. The members are 15,16,19 and 21. They all blossomed through Disney Channel and Christian values. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being Catholic, I'm one sorta. It's just, they abuse it. I mean purity rings? Seriously? That's not rock 'n' roll. Did the Beatles have promise rings? Did Hendrix save himself until marriage? No. The people they aspire to be dabbled with one-night-stands, drugs, alcohol and hardcore partying. While we can't say that Miley hasn't partied...or taken naughty pictures, we can say the JoBros haven't. Even though Kevin can just about drink and both he and Joe can smoke/use drugs. Music takes more than just plain 'ol dates and brotherhood to inspire. A nice trip will write an AMAZING album for Miley and the guys.

Also...if you look at most three-piece bands, multi-tasking is key. Take a look at Blink-182, probably the BEST punk-rock band ever. Tom, Mark & Travis made countless singles, historic albums and unique sounds by themselves. They shared vocals and instruments. The Jonas Brothers...are missing a member of their band! Hello...a back-up drummer doesn't make the cut. & neither does a few back-up guitarists/bassists. Maybe Joe should sit on a drum stool and bang a few snares and symbols. Knowing the sound actually came from them, will make it more appealling, more real. Butcher sings and drums at the same time on stage...

I have a question for you rock fans...does Simple Plan bring along their moms on tour? No...their sisters?No...brothers?Dad's?1.000 dancers, light guys, sound guys, stage set-ups?NO! If an amazing band can fit them and the whole crew in a 15-passenger van, they're a DIY band, not a Walt-Disney band.

One thing that I know that bothers real rock fans and myself is when you walk into a music store or any place that sells CDs, you go to the rock section and scan for your favorites; you hit the 'J's' and see the Jonas Brothers' new album...SAY WHAT?! "This belongs in CHILDRENS or at least POP, not ROCK." Or a poster that reads, "The Newest Release from Rock Artist, Miley Cyrus, Available Now!" Really? She's a rock artist? Is that a typo or are you serious?

You know the difference between Pop and Rock right? Tell them. Let Rock stay Rock and keep Pop as Pop. 'Nough Said.

~kayze.